Sleep

In June of 2024, I stopped working. Not because I wanted to, or that I was let go. I just became tired all the time and fuzzy-headed. Not to worry. I’ve seen half a dozen specialists and I’m on the track of something now with my naturopathic doctor. I’ve had something like this intermittently over the last four years, but this time, it’s gone on for six months. Phewf!. as my daughter used to say. At first, I thought this was just going to be the regular two-week thing, but this time it got legs. O.K., that’s that, and like I say, solutions are in the offing.

One of the consequences of this was that my sleep pattern went haywire. I used to go to bed around 9:30 and wake up at 6:00, which seems like plenty of sleep and fits in nicely with the working culture.

Now my sleeping hours are a crap shoot. Occasionally, I will sleep for twelve hours, sometimes only four. Sometimes I go to bed at midnight, sometimes I arrive at my bed at four in the afternoon. I was upset at first, but I quit worrying about it after a while.

One of my favorite things in the world is when I’m awake while everyone else is sleeping. There is an element of freedom for me when this happens. At two in the morning, I am released from any responsibility that I might have later in the day.

It’s a good time to play my guitar. It’s a perfect time to write a song. Once it becomes 4:30 I can hang with my sister in Sapulpa because she’s already up.

Without the clammer of the day-to-day, there is room for my subconscious to drift into the here and now, and occasionally, I stumble into the Mystery. It’s also a good time to rewatch the first episode of West Wing. As you can see, I’m open to possibilities. While I’m confident that I will return to good health, and a more consistent slumber habit, I consider these last six months to be a gift.

And here’s my little secret. The one that I don’t want to say too loudly. I love this time to write. Life is shifting for me. I have no credentials to be a writer, but I have a love of story, a love of words, and the turn of phrase.

This morning, I woke up at 2:30 after going to bed at 10:30, and I don’t mind it a bit. I had the chance to solve a nagging email problem. I got to watch Steel Magnolias (I forgot how moving the movie is), and now I’m writing. Luxury!

I suppose my answer to the question, “Did you sleep well?” would be (given time for reflection) yes. Yes, I did.

Part of me looks forward to returning to my working life and having the regular hours of sleep that go with it. This is in regard to that part of me that worries about money. Another part of me, hiding in the bushes where no one can see me, hopes that this will go on for a while longer.