What it's Like When I Write

So... I'm new to writing. Well, I'm new to writing prose. I've written songs since I was sixteen, so I've got some experience with the creative process and some of the challenges that go with it.

In the winter of 2024, I committed to writing a book. Full Disclosure: My bonafides as a writer are that I love stories, and that I had an instructor at my community college who had a love affair with commas. When it comes to "Bob," I was driven to write out of fear.

As I'm writing this, I'm sixty-seven years old, and I'm experiencing reduced cognition. Two years ago I had this very specific thought, "If I don't try to write this book now, I probably won't be able to soon."

Yikes! Right after that, I made the decision to ask for two months off from my job, live on credit cards, and throw myself on the mercy of the Muse.

Specifically, here is what happens when I start to write. I make coffee. I sit down at my desk. and I have a very clear thought, "I can't do this. I've got nothing." Every time. It doesn't matter if yesterday I dropped in and wrote six thousand words, or that I've been coming up with something every day for six weeks, I still have the thought, "I've got nothing." At times this thought is so compelling that I get out of my chair and do the dishes, clean my carpets, or go on Udemy and study brain surgery.

When I make my way back to the chair, I take a deep breath, rest my fingers on the home keys (thank you, Wilbur Junior High School), and wait. I just keep breathing and wait. I start playing a 'Music for Writing' playlist on Spotify and... wait.

Then, the pressure of wanting to write is greater than the fear of writing, and the first words come out. Once that happens the well has been primed, and words continue to come sputtering out of my fingers. Now, I'm not waiting so much as pausing. When I hike to the top of Turtleback, I'm in such great shape that I have to stop three times to catch my breath, and for me, writing is something like that.

As part of the process, I count research as writing. This can help fill the gaps when my inspiration is out of breath. If I'm curious about Barcelona, I'll do a medium dive and look at Wikipedia, Google Maps, and read a travel blog. I want to be accurate, and I also want to be inspired. There is no telling where that inspiration is going to come from. Mining for gold seems like a good analogy. Dig around and dig some more, and "Looky here Ma, Gold!"

This is my secret to writing—cross the bridge from fear to sitting with my fingers poised. I do wish that it wasn't always like that, but so far...